Surviving 30

I made it! November 25, 2010 was an interesting day for two reasons. One reason: My birthday fell on Thanksgiving that year, so I prepared myself once again for my birthday to be overshadowed by the holiday. The second reason: Not only was this my holiday-birthday, but I was celebrating a milestone. I was turning 30! For quite some time before this life-changing event, I gave considerate thought as to how I would handle this new decade in my life.

I asked others in the “30’s Crew” what their experiences were like. Some recall a pleasant and enlightening transition, while others felt that they were next in line for some heavy-duty medication and a strait-jacket! I mean, what’s the big deal? So you turn another year older, but how often do you actually feel a year older on your birthday? Usually the implications of another birthday comes weeks or months later. So I was determined that I was going to embrace 30, make it a memorable day and not overreact.

My “Turkey-Birthday” arrives, and I wake up saying to myself in the mirror, “Happy Birthday. You still look 29!” Seriously, what does that even mean? Whatever it meant, I believed it, dolled myself up, and prepared myself for a delicious meal of pizza, mac & cheese, Dr. Pepper, and red velvet cake.  You may ask, “Where’s the turkey? The dressing? At least some rolls?” For anyone who has ever experienced a holiday-birthday, you may agree that you have to take extra steps to separate your special day from the chaos of the holiday. I did not want my birthday meal to be turkey, but rather, indulge in “a few of my favorite things” and try to make the most of this day without feeling overshadowed.

The day came and went, and I was okay. I turned 30, felt great, and still felt youthful. Everything was alright! That was in November….December….and January. February came and I hit a wall! I do not know if it was related to other significant events going on in my life, but I was sitting in my apartment one night watching TV, and I remember thinking, “Oh my God, I’m 30!” That’s when the floodgates opened, and I began to sob over what I believed to be the death of my youthful existence. What did being 30 mean? Just like “What does being 29 mean”, did being 30 mean that I felt old? Worried that I had not reached some of the goals that I said I would by the time I reached 30? Did it mean that I would wake up the next day, and be in my 40’s or 50’s and feel that life sped up somehow? YES to all of that!  In addition to those fears, I worried that I would feel like a failure in some areas of my life and that others would feel the same about me.

After that February, life sped up again. I finished graduate school, moved 3 times while in transition to my permanent home in Tennessee, got married, and unpacked what seemed to be a Grand Canyon full of boxes that gave a complete testimony of what my life had been like the past 3 years. Before I knew it, November 25^th knocked on my door again to bear what I hoped would be an early start to “glad tidings of great joy!” Today is December 13^th, and for the past 3 weeks, I have been embracing my new age of 31 flavors. Once again, what does that even mean?

I do know that ever since I became a member of the “30’s Crew”, I have felt a great sense of love for myself than I probably did a year ago. But all of that self-love and revelation will come in another blog. For now and for this moment, I am 31, and I love myself more now than I did in my 20’s. And just like Baskin-Robbins 31 flavors, there are surprises that you do not expect, but it leaves you with a satisfaction you have never experienced before!